Winding Down

8 days more and the journey will come to an end. It's been a challenging but pleasure time. God has really seen me through the tough times and surrounded me with his love. He has provided me with an environment where I can not only learn from but also connect with people who are not just the Hi and Byes daily.

Students wise, I'm thankful for everyone of them, no matter how naughty some might be, being able to relate to them beyond not just lessons but into daily life. The learning continues, what the training institute can't teach you is to feel the heart beat of people. That can only come through God and how he teaches me to feel for those around me.

Exams are coming up, pray that they will do well, not so much reflecting how well they have been taught by me but more for their personal growth. It's wonderful to see improvements both academically and in their behavior, though much is still needed for some of them.

I'm drained out from this phrase but knowing that touching lives goes beyond personal recognition, it's a blessing to give.

Wish i could say as much about something else in terms of giving but hopefully God will help me recapture that.

Up and On

Thanks

Thank You everyone for your well-wishes and especially those who came down especially for my confirmation. Much appreciated.

Alright...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

i get it.

Obedient

It get even tougher when you know you really don't like it but out of obedient, you are persevering on cos he called you to mold your inner self to be a reflection of him.

When o when o when o is this going to end... hehe, laughing at dumb o me.

Counting Down thoughts

Recently, my friends has started to count down the number of days left for us before we see one another again. Not too long more, and yet there is still a distance away.

Everyday has been challenging. Yet no matter what, starting the day with God helps me to stay focus on knowing what is the end goal for life and not work.

Today my 11 years old spoke like adults when they ask me if i enjoy teaching. They then went on to ask if i regret it after teaching them.

Somehow deep down, it feels as though God is saying, "I've shown you the good and bad sides of this profession, are you going to fight on?"

I think the answer will eventually surface in a few years time. For now, I still haven't gotten into this mindset that I'm working. Its seems as though I'm doing full time ministry with children, which is good for them though ya, I need to take care of my health cos i know i am falling into the phrase of being a workaholic.

At present, its a good discipline to build up on and wanting to speak into the boys life. If only there is more time to be more influential in their lives, to build them up not base on their grades but who they can truly be as a person.

Its good to give without asking or expecting for a return, the heart is more willing in this way. Something which i know i have lost for a certain time now, the sense of serving the Lord with joy.

May God grant me a heart fixed on him in all that i do.

Thanks Giving

Time flies, already back to work for 2 days already. Thank You Lord for a smooth transition back to work. Getting the hang of things better now, though the challenges are still there, it's still been a wonderful journey so far. 6 wks and 3 more days left or to be exact 30 more working days and the chapter will close for another to begin. Looking forward to that.

On another note, it's been challenging to take a strong stand on some matters. Through it all, I'm thankful that God is shaping me through it.

God works in amazing ways and the recent meet ups with someone and encouragements from another has given me more directions and assurances. Though it is still going to be a tough walk ahead, with me not knowing if i can last, I want to say that God will certainly stand in the gap over my weaknesses.

1 week

It's been a good week of resting. Learning much about God and life, catching up with friends and being productive at work.

I find myself going through ups and downs this week.

Downs can really be downs, wonder how am i going to last through it in the long term. For a start, it must try not to hate people and things.

Ups are wonderful, to learn so much about God and to be able to hear also from different people gives learning a new dimension. Its being a long while since i really learn things in 1 on 1 or small grp setting.

There is lots of uncertainty ahead still, but ... I know tt courage arises from God and no other.

Learning

You learn lots about yourself as time goes by especially in the situations that God throws you into. Character is built along the way but there is still so much to learn. It's a bittersweet experience I must say. Well, if the ultimate aim is to be more Christlike and to be more refined by him, then just have to stomach it and accept that at least it's in an environment whereby God will surround you with his love and push you to lean on him and no other.