Friendship - Intro

According to C.S. Lewis, there are 4 basic human loves: affection, eros, charity and friendship. Long overshadowed by romantic love, friendship is easily undervalued, but the ancients viewed friendship as the crown of life, the fulfillment of all that is most distinctively human. Moderns all too often assess the value of friendship primarily in terms of its usefulness for achieving material ends (friends as business contacts) or minimizing boredom and loneliness (friends as people to kill time with).

The principal reason friendship is so undervalued is probably that too few people have ever experienced a significant, enduring friendship. All but the hermit have acquaintances, but typically such relationships involve no more than a passing connection. Most people also have colleagues with whom they work or associates with whom they spend regular time, but this still falls short of the ideals of friendship.

The coin of friendship had been continuously devalued by being applied to these lesser forms of relationship. Relationships between acquaintances or associates involve little of the intimacy, trust, commitment and loyalty of real friendships. Friendships may grow out of these more casual relationships but are not the same. Unfortunately, friendships are also much more rare. Friendship is one of God’s special gifts to humans. Remarkably, friendship is one of the terms God uses to describe the relationship he desires with us. Friendship is therefore no ordinary relationship. We cheapen it when we reduce it to mere acquaintanceship. The ideals of friendship are worth preserving.

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